Subscribe to Print Edition | Wed., May 14, 2008 Iyyar 9, 5768 | | Israel Time: 14:19 (EST+7)
Haaretz israel news English
web haaretz.com
  Back to Homepage
Rosner's Domain
Diplomacy
Defense Jewish World Opinion National
Print Edition
Advertising
Books Peres Conference Business Real Estate Easy Start Travel Week's End Anglo File
Abe at his Jewish wedding in New York, 1996.
Last update - 13:34 11/05/2008
Tales from a N.Y. cabby: 'My first wife was Muslim, my second was Jewish'
By Akiva Eldar
Tags: Judaism, Israel, New York 

Nearing dusk on a pleasant spring day, throngs of businessmen fill Times Square and scurry to the subway for their commute home. Show-going tourists scour Broadway for their theaters. Having no luck finding a cab, we moved southward until spotting a yellow cab that heeded our wave. The driver, a heavyset man with a silver-lined beard cropping up from his wearied face, turned his head toward us.

"Where are you from in Israel?" he asked with a discernible foreign accent that did not reveal his country of origin.

We replied that we're from a town, not especially big, that he had certainly never heard of.
Advertisement
"Try me," he insisted. We told him we live not far from Tel Aviv, in a city on the coast called Netanya.

"Netanya, French City, of course I'm familiar with it," the driver said, flashing a winner's smile. "You have many French in Netanya. They love the beach."

My wife, Dorit, begging his pardon if she was intruding into his personal life, then asked the driver if he was Jewish.

"I'm not, but my ex-wife is a vooz-vooz, igen-migen," he said, letting out a laugh. "You know, Ashkenazi-Hungarian."

And how was he so caught up with Israel?

"I was born in Alexandria and I did my military service in the Egyptian navy," he said. "I was on the presidential yacht that brought President Sadat to Haifa in September 1979. Since then, I've taken an interest in everything related to Israel and the peace process in the Middle East."

The next part of the conversation may read like an advertisement, but it is an essential part of this almost-bizarre story. We asked the driver where he got his information on Israel. He told us that every weekend he would take a walk to the local convenience store to pick up the weekly edition of Haaretz in English. Unable to resist, I introduced myself.

The driver slammed the breaks, pulling the cab over near the sidewalk. He turned around and asked to shake my hand.

"I can't believe you're sitting in my taxi," he mumbled with excitement. "I've been reading your articles and some of your colleagues' articles for years. You all give me hope that one day there will be peace between Arabs and Jews."

He asked for my business card and that I promise to send him a letter from Israel. Then, he ripped a receipt from the meter and wrote his details on the back: Abraham Ramban, an address in Brooklyn, and his home phone number. I promised Abe (the Americanized name he adopted) I would give him a ring during my next trip to New York next month so I could hear the rest of his story.

When we reached our destination on East 16th Street, the meter read $7. Abe flatly refused to take our money: How could I even fathom him taking money from Akiva Eldar?

I called Abe six weeks later. Barely concealing his satisfaction, he complained about me not notifying him in advance of my arrival so he could meet me at the airport. I promised to mend my ways on condition that he pledge no more free trips. We set a time for noon the next day to meet, the only day he had free time. We found a side table in a small Chinese restaurant in midtown.

He was born 52 years ago in Alexandria. His military service was spent on ships as a naval technician. The yacht trip with Sadat to Haifa, less than a year after the signing of the peace accord with Israel, was his first-ever contact with Israel. Sadat spoke of the symbolic significance of the visit to a city that was "living proof of coexistence between Arabs and Jews, cousins who lived for centuries in peace and harmony."

Then-president Yitzhak Navon, who officially greeted the president on the dock, invited the sailors ashore and "to feel at home here, just like in Alexandria."

"I was quite shocked," Abe recalled. "I couldn't believe I was in Israel, meeting Israelis." He remembers his trip through the streets of Haifa and his short stay in Herzliya.

A few months later, Abe was discharged from the navy and enlisted in the mercantile marines. In 1986, his boat docked in New York, where he began working in one of the city's shipyards. Eventually, he settled down there with his wife and two children. After the shipyard closed down three years later, Abe found work as a cab driver, a job he planned to hold at least until he could find Arabic translation work.

Unable to adjust to life in the U.S., Abe's wife took the children back to Egypt. During his free time on weekends, Abe would go dancing in one of the neighborhood nightclubs, where on one occasion he would meet R. (he asked that we not print her full name), a religious Jew of Hungarian extraction and a divorced mother of one who lived in the Flatbush section of Brooklyn. They made a connection, and began spending more time together.

A few months later, in 1996, they secretly arranged for a civil marriage ceremony, and Abe began Orthodox conversion proceedings. He met with rabbis, learned the Hebrew prayers and memorized the commandments of the Jewish faith. Some of the religious text was hard to stomach for an Egyptian Muslim. Passover was especially difficult.

Two years after successfully completing his conversion exams, he joined hands with R. underneath the chupa and broke the symbolic glass. Yet, while the Egyptian sailor from Alexandria was received as a full-fledged member of the Jewish community, his past identity was still a sore point for some.

"The Ashkenazim liked me as a convert but hated me as an Arab," he recalled. "The Sephardim liked me as an Arab but hated me as a convert."

"The worst were the Israelis who moved to the U.S.," Abe said. "They're loud show-offs, and it's impossible to have a civilized conversation with them."

The relationship with R. did not last long. She and her friends could not grasp how Abe's love of the Jewish people did not translate into a hatred for Arabs.

"They had no qualms with saying, while I was in the room, that Israel should kill all the Arabs, and I shut my mouth. One day, I told my wife that I didn't understand why Israelis want the Arabs to always be afraid of them. You know what she said to me? That this is the only language Arabs understand."

After five years together, the couple parted ways. Every so often, he inquires after her.

Just like his romance with R., Abe's love affair with the Jewish religion also reached its end. Prior to his conversion, he was by no means a devout Muslim, and, as such, did not develop a belief in Judaism. He endured the conversion process for R., not for God. But his interest in Judaism and Israel has not waned completely. Abe continues to learn and take interest, making sure to buy the Israeli newspaper every Friday. From time to time, he also shares a cup of coffee with his Jewish acquaintances. One Jewish friend has kept a distance from him since the Second Lebanon War.

Abe enjoys their company, but he knows that their friendship is shallow. His real friends, those that he trusts will be by his side in adverse times, are two Egyptians.

He doesn't miss Alexandria one bit. Religious fanaticism and nationalistic fervor drove him away from his country of birth. Abe was happy one of his sons left Egypt to join him in New York. Currently, he's working overtime hours driving his cab to make enough money to put his son through college. Before we said goodbye, Abe cracked a tiny smile.

"My first wife was Muslim, my second was Jewish, and now I have a Christian girlfriend," he says. "What does it matter? The main thing is peace and love." We promised to stay in touch and do so today over e-mail.
Bookmark to del.icio.us  
 
A few good celebs
Some of Hollywood's top guns congratulate Israel in a clip played in Times Square.
Chosen, shmosen
'Religion is an incarnation of the most childish superstitions,' wrote Albert Einstein.
  1.   Driving a wedge between Israeli and Moslem 04:21  |  Zev 11/05/08
  2.   This is why rabbis discourage converts 05:30  |  Judith 11/05/08
  3.   Good Luck, Abe 06:09  |  Mikesailor 11/05/08
  4.   Long live NY cabbies 07:02  |  sh 11/05/08
  5.   no. 2 07:30  |  Steve 11/05/08
  6.   Are you sure that this cabby wasn`t Jeshua bar Miryam? 08:41  |  flicky 11/05/08
  7.   Jewish racism 08:48  |  Khalid 11/05/08
  8.   Abe is awesome 09:14  |  Mikey 11/05/08
  9.   Lovely Tale. Thanks for sharing Mr Eldar. Best wishes to Abe. 09:22  |  JustMe 11/05/08
  10.   Tales from A NY cabby 09:33  |  michael Hollander 11/05/08
  11.   Most likely this whole article is fabricated 09:49  |  McQueen 11/05/08
  12.   #11 McQueen 10:38  |  Rouven 11/05/08
  13.   self promotion, not a "headline" 10:56  |  sally 11/05/08
  14.   A feel good story,fabricated or not,Ipersonally don`t think that 11:16  |  YSL 11/05/08
  15.   akiva eldar 11:30  |  jerry 11/05/08
  16.   A simple to understand article 11:34  |  MR 11/05/08
  17.   Tales from a NY Cabbie 11:37  |  Barry 11/05/08
  18.   #7 Khalid 12:03  |  Marcin 11/05/08
  19.   abe is a real benadam 12:05  |  genie 11/05/08
  20.   McQueen #11 - you must not have talked to many NY cabbies 12:22  |  dana 11/05/08
  21.   at the end of abe`s days 12:31  |  Joe Barnathan 11/05/08
  22.   JEWS TAKE NOTE 12:42  |  VIPER 11/05/08
  23.   The Greatest Day of Her Life 12:44  |  manny.b 11/05/08
  24.   #12, MC QUEEN, stupid comments just keep coming 12:44  |  VIPER 11/05/08
  25.   #12 Rouven Second try after being censored by Haaretz 12:56  |  MR 11/05/08
  26.   the identity-psychos 13:37  |  Winston Smith 11/05/08
  27.   #22 13:53  |  Jeff 11/05/08
  28.   to abe, post a note if you read this 15:05  |  bashar 11/05/08
  29.   Third time is a charm Abe. 15:44  |  Good luck and 11/05/08
  30.   Egyptians and Israelis 16:47  |  sarah 11/05/08
  31.   Just what Haartez likes .. commitment to nothing 16:58  |  Rachel 11/05/08
  32.   lovely photo just one question 17:19  |  Ari ben Yisrael 11/05/08
  33.   Akiva & Haaretz 17:30  |  Beitcafe 11/05/08
  34.   Something doesn`t smell Kosher 17:52  |  Ibn Musa 11/05/08
  35.   My two cents 17:54  |  JT 11/05/08
  36.   this storey fabrication my foot: 17:55  |  wh 11/05/08
  37.   33beitcafe 18:00  |  wh 11/05/08
  38.   Abe should be commended 18:10  |  leven5 11/05/08
  39.   I taste 6 spoons of sugar in my coffee 18:11  |  Scientist 11/05/08
  40.   #36 wh 18:29  |  Beitcafe 11/05/08
  41.   #7 Khalid: Iwill try to explain why American jews are more 18:39  |  Max Zinger,P.Chimist 11/05/08
  42.   #38 leven 5 Australia 18:41  |  * BEN JABO 11/05/08
  43.   #37 wh 18:50  |  Beitcafe 11/05/08
  44.   beitcafe 18:54  |  wh 11/05/08
  45.   Reality Check...Israel Future and Propoganda 19:44  |  Raymond 11/05/08
  46.   BEN JABO Here is your copy, cut and paste 20:05  |  What`s your issue? 11/05/08
  47.   And now he has a Christian girlfriend That`s up close&perspective 20:23  |  He`sCoveredAllBases 11/05/08
  48.   beitcafe 20:24  |  wh 11/05/08
  49.   snow wind food 20:28  |  Di 11/05/08
  50.   sorry beitcafe 20:30  |  wh 11/05/08
  51.   #50 wh 20:47  |  Beitcafe 11/05/08
  52.   Great bittersweet tale from Akiva Eldar but it truly says a lot 20:56  |  Smadar 11/05/08
  53.   Human beings are far more adaptable than most realize 21:29  |  Every ONE of us 11/05/08
  54.   #46 What`s your issue - I`ll tell you what it is 00:47  |  * BEN JABO 12/05/08
  55.   #12 I am an atheist 00:57  |  McQueen 12/05/08
  56.   #42 BEN JABO, My husband is a Moslem, so what? 01:06  |  Yaakov Sullivan 12/05/08
  57.   #42 BEN JABO, My husband is a Moslem, so what? 01:07  |  Yaakov Sullivan 12/05/08
  58.   #54, BEN-JABO, typical zionist 02:16  |  VIPER 12/05/08
  59.   I EAT PORK, NEVER FASTED AND I MARRIED A MUSLIM - SO DAMN WHAT? 05:39  |  Omar Tai 12/05/08
  60.   #58 VIPER - My of my, such ignorance 06:07  |  * BEN JABO 12/05/08
  61.   Yakoub Suleiman, have you already adopted that child in Ramallah? 08:18  |  Gays Nightmare 12/05/08
  62.   Tai you can do whatever you want, because you R 2nd class Muslim 08:22  |  Genuine Tosefta 12/05/08
  63.   Nice Story: Ignorance / hatred on both sides 08:50  |  JewfromEgypt 12/05/08
  64.   #41 and #7 Well said .. I fully agree.. 08:52  |  Dave 12/05/08
  65.   what I find interesting here; is what NO one questions 09:02  |  eric 12/05/08
  66.   new evidence of Jewish racism, thanks to Akiva 11:25  |  Leon Rosgarten 12/05/08
  67.   @11, McQueen, i think the same, esp. with buffon like eldar 12:34  |  vladimir 12/05/08
  68.   @66, leon, nice to hear from you! 12:46